Van Helsing

Year Released: 2004
Main Stars: Huge Jackman, the gorgeous Kate Beckinsdale
Last watched: April 2011
Number Watches: 3

Fun from the start with special effects that work really well, nothing there to complain about.

So why don’t I like it more?

Huge himself is basically Wolverine in a cape and hat so maybe that’s it, needs someone with a bit more .. something… no, I don’t know what it is either. The locations look good and colour the fantasy well. Costumes are cool, humour is nice. Kate is good in lycra though her accent doesn’t suit her. She should always sound like a posh English bird when she’s wearing dominatrix stuff. Rar. 

It just doesn’t hit the mark. There are so many films that have promise but cant deliver that extra element that makes a good watch. This is one of them.

Oh sure, it stands above most of them in the production stakes (stakes, geddit??) but maybe the script wasn’t good enough.

I’d watch this again but not expect anything new, making sure I didnt leave the room when Kate is on in her lycra. Oof.

There are some films I’d love to see back to back with other similar films in a big room with a massive screen hired for the whole night and a whole box-set of like-minded people joining in (that’s the collective term for movie nerds) – obviously there would be popcorn and snacks being served throughout the night. Van Helsing would fit well and maybe needs that atmosphere to fill whatever gap there is I cant quite put my finger on.

 

Keep DVD?
Nope.
Watch if on TV?
Sometimes. It’s got a hook to it. For me that might be the monsters and Kate’s bum in lycra.
Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Snog while thinking of Kate’s bum in lycra.

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About Simon Trail

There has long been a tradition that a knight will show a crest and / or motto of his family. I shall endeavour to provide such a distinguishing and immediately descriptive thingy over my management of this site. Please be patient. Or Doctor if you're David Tennent.
This entry was posted in Action, Comic / 'Graphic Novel', Fantasy, Film Review. Bookmark the permalink.

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