Red Riding Hood

Year Released: 2011
Main Stars: Gary Oldman, the second in command guy from Battlestar Galactica, the scientist guy from Stargate TV series, a girl, a hot mother figure (yeah, I said it) and some boys of varying puberty.
Last watched: October 2011
Number Watches: 1

“Why grandma, what big ears you have…”

You know how when you watch a good horror movie you get scared and excited at the same time and think back on it later and get scared again? This isnt one of those. This is just pap.

Red Riding Hood (RRH) is soft focus, girl-boy-boy angst, computer glossy and, more than anything else, it’s Twilight again.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the old north European, out in the wilderness, ye villagey feel of these films. I keep wanting to watch Van Helsing and Dracula and get a feeling of ‘lost in that world’ but there isnt much of that in these films and Lord of The Rings has probably spoilt it for everyone by being so darned incredible. So RRH is well down the list of immersive theatre and doesnt have any go-for-it like I wish it would.

Brilliant sets and the olde-worlde Vancouver scenery are used to heavily thrust this old-people-dont-know-squat-and-young-dudes-know-it-all-but-get-stuck-with-their-parents-misdemeanors flick into a nearly pagan setting of Grimm tales. Then the over the top celebrations and soft porn music ruined it into a Twilight style haven for relationship angst. I use the word angst quite a lot when I get bored with film-makers doing the same heart-break inducing plot twists over and over.  Gives me a right pain in the angst.

Gary is a mad but controlled obsessive and does a substantial and believable character. The girl’s mother is nice looking but ultimately not much cop other than a story dynamic. The other main players are fine and dandy but do we need them? could we not make the scary wolf a but scarier? Shame.

Turning these fairy tale stories on their heads is where young horror movies are going so this one keeps you guessing as to who might be the wooluf. It’s not a horror type horror but more an easy listening movie.  Sets are really enjoyable, even the computer ones. All well played, filmed and scored. So is Red Riding Hood good?  She’s got about the same splattering of characters as Van Helsing but not as much action. She’s not got as much humour as Grimm Brothers.

Keep DVD?
No point.
Watch if on TV?

At some point in the future the romantic idea that this is going to be a realistic visualisation of the Wolf story might make me forget how pants it is and watch it again. I won’t seek it out if I remember though.
Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Big, fat, hairy, fanguloid avoid.

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About Simon Trail

There has long been a tradition that a knight will show a crest and / or motto of his family. I shall endeavour to provide such a distinguishing and immediately descriptive thingy over my management of this site. Please be patient. Or Doctor if you're David Tennent.
This entry was posted in Fantasy, Film Review, Horror. Bookmark the permalink.

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