The Expendables

Year Released: 2010
Main Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts
Last watched: August 2012
Review Date: August 2012
Number Watches: 1

“He wants to be president.”

Big cast. I mean BIG cast, physically as well as famously. Isn’t enough to save it though. In fact the whole ‘friends of mine’ feeling of the stars might have been the cause of the lack of script and direction which is, being nice about it, a bit slow. Camera work is good for long shots and some hand-to-hand action but a little amateur for mid-range work like car chases. You can tell there’s meant to be jovial, every-man banter between the main characters but it ends up being a bit stilted. The script overall is quite pants anyway. Jokes are a slow and it’s not a laugh a minute, more like a tiny giggle every ten minutes. Anyone can see the whole thing could have been so much better.

This is a combination of A-Team and Charlies Angels but with major bad-ass throughout. But there’s a lot of mumbling; macho, growling that ends up being boring. Maybe it was my surround sound system but I’m thinking maybe not.

The ending is a big blast but was that what justifies the whole messy thing? No. I was disappointed. There was so much going for this one and so many possible ways to make it a funny and or dramatic blockbuster. But in the end it was a dull story patched with crappy dialog and with big names that didn’t need to be there. An indulgence at the expense of entertainment. Was this because Sly was director, writer and actor instead of getting someone else to help? Perhaps.

I really did try to like it, honest.

Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes but with a someone else so I can point at the screen and go “Why did they do that??”
Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Avoid.Wish it was better, but no.

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About Simon Trail

There has long been a tradition that a knight will show a crest and / or motto of his family. I shall endeavour to provide such a distinguishing and immediately descriptive thingy over my management of this site. Please be patient. Or Doctor if you're David Tennent.
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