Diamonds Are Forever

Year Released: 1971
Main Stars: Sean ConneryLois Maxwell, Bernard LeeDesmond Llewelyn, Charles Gray, Jill St.John
Last watched: October 2012
Review Date: November 2012
Number Watches: 2 or 3

“Alimentary, Dr. Leiter”

“I got a brudder.”

“collars and cuffs”

Another theme tune to die for. Why can’t they make them like this any more? Stop trying to make Bond music all yoof and hip – it’s about a gentleman’s club that exists solely for one swave dude who saves the world! Get the old fashioned into it from the start and ride that wave in modern surroundings, people!

Here we have the last of Sean in a ‘real’ bond movie (there is another…. but it’s not a Jedi master of a Bond. Not even a padawan.) and there’s a lot of action and intrigue with huge amounts of fun and that’s a main element in Bond for me. Take the jokes out and it just relies on the thriller element of the plot that, let’s face it, Bond movies don’t have. They have other-worldly posh versus rough violence and lots of unneccessary fooling around in cars, planes, boats, etc., but no suspense. Three elements bind the far-fetched lunges from high society parties to high octane action: Bond being the main man, the music and the audacity of throwing in punchlines over severely dead bodies. Take any of those away and holes appear.

Sean is in control as usual and the normal cast fit like a good shoe but Jill is a little too flippant. Maybe it was direction or maybe acting but she was a bit useless as a character despite seeming to be in control during her intro. Not her fault but I’ve no idea why she turns up on the oil rig except to be pathetic. Mind you, there are a lot of seemingly unconnected scenes here such as the girl guards and the moon buggy chase. Not complaining but the story certainly suffers. Then again, what about the buddy-baddies? I’m thinking this is a nod towards the Roger Moore Bond where there are eccentric and silly psychopaths thrown in for show. Still, it’s all fun as you expect from MI6.

Popcorn, mates, night in, Diamonds on TV. Your brain won’t be shaken or stirred so just enjoy the spectacle! (watch out for the car flip – it’s a doozy!)

Keep DVD?
Yes. I would watch this again just to see all the bouncing tyres!

Watch if on TV?
Yes. Mostly hard to ignore Sean’s Bond and this is not the exception.

Snog, Marry, Avoid?
A quick and probably short-lived marriage in Vegas hanging from a glass elevator 20 floors up!

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About Simon Trail

There has long been a tradition that a knight will show a crest and / or motto of his family. I shall endeavour to provide such a distinguishing and immediately descriptive thingy over my management of this site. Please be patient. Or Doctor if you're David Tennent.
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