John Carter Warlord Of Mars

Year Released: 2012
Main Stars: Taylor Kitsch , Lynn Collins , Samantha Morton , Mark Strong, Ciarán Hinds , James Purefoy
Last watched: August 2015
Review Date: August 2015
Number Watches: 1
Format Watched: TV

Boing.

Starts slow, music is completely inappropriate, direction is, at best, missing, and the acting is as bad as a bucket full of pond weed.

So, that’s a no from me.

I kept expecting something quirky and fun. The best bit was a dog-like creature. Ok, I’d have one of those if I could but that really is the best bit. Disney may have assaulted us with this drivel in the hopes of making some Lord of The Rings epic but there is nothing in this feature for anyone of any age. It’s slow, dull and about 2 hours too long.

How can anyone have so much money that they spend it on computer graphics and sets without caring about the pace, point or plot? I think whoever thought this was a winner was certainly on another planet.

 


Keep DVD?

No, John Carter.
Watch if on TV?
No, Warlord of Mars
Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Avoid, oh strangely bouncy and invincible one.

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About Simon Trail

I'm just another film watcher with an opinion.
This entry was posted in 2010s, Action, Fantasy, Film Review, SciFi and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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