The Mask Of Zorro

Year Released: 1998
Main Stars: Antonio Banderas, Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta-Jones                          
Review Date: July 2017
Last watched: February 2017
Number Watches: 3
Format Watched: TV

Zorro! A great film!

So tongue-in-cheek but at the same time dramatic with a great cast that tongue-in-cheek their little asses off and a legend that is respected with all the sun-glossy pomp Hollywood can muster!

An action movie with lots of swash-buckling and sexy-swashing peeps.

Love it but don’t judge it!

Yours,
SWISH SWISH SWISH    –    Z!

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Thrice+.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Snog. I’d love to marry you, Zorro but I don’t know who you are! Damn that mask!

Posted in 2010s, Action, Comedy, Fantasy, Film Review, Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid, Sexy, Snog, Super Hero, Thrice+, Watchability | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Tale Of Tales

Year Released: 2015
Main Stars: Salma Hayek, Vincent Cassel, Toby Jones, John C. Reilly , Shirley Henderson , Bebe Cave , loads of others                 
Review Date: July 2017
Last watched: December 2017 (took me ages to bother with this one. The text for the review was already done a while back so still close enough to watch date)
Number Watches: 1
Format Watched: DVD

I love fantasy movies with great sets and costumes that give off that wonderland feeling.

However they also need to have a good script and complete plot. There’s very little here that lives up to the initial burst of medieval monster mania. I think I know why.

Not the performances, they’re fine although a little low on depth and with some extraneous scenes. The production is good too with castles and caves, monster make-up and effects all pretty much big budget affairs. It’s the choice of plot and script that lets the things down.

A while ago I decided to try being intellectual and I read the Grimm Brothers tales. Lots of collected stories from around ye olde Europe. They were fascinating and a peek into the minds of the folk of the time but they mostly either lacked conclusions or took strange, gory twists that seemed too abrupt. This movie is the same and it’s obviously based on similar stories.

Where some directors have taken olde stuff and packages it for the cinema going public, others have kept closely to the original tales and forgotten that they need to update them by adding back-stories or reasons or just concentrating on one or other story a bit more so we can do the same when watching it.

In summary, I got bored and then, finally, both me and my wife said “is that it?” which is never a good sign.

 

DVD Extras: three interviews, that’s it.

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Once. ish. For fantasy buffs.
Watch if on TV?
No.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
I know I said it’s watchable but really it’s one to avoid so you don’t get disappointed.

Posted in 2010s, Avoid, Dark Comedy, Fantasy, Film Review, Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid, Once, Watchability | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Maggie

Year Released: 2015
Main Stars:Arnold Schwarzenegger, Abigail Breslin, Joely Richardson
Review Date: July 2017
Last watched: January 2017
Number Watches: 1
Format Watched: DVD

Arnie acting in a drama. Controversial!

To be fair, he does a good job and it’s a shame he is the shape he is as you really can’t pull your mind away from the big guy being so darned big and confident. He just looks so darn powerful that it’s hard to think he could be frail.

Story is a small drama and looks low budget from the number of locations and extras involved but there’s no shaky scenery or obvious nonsense set design. Just a small film feeling about it which I don’t mind.

The script and plot are more an attempt at something than the finished article but everyone put in good performances and the result is an ok movie that I’d watch again in a few years.

Watch once then make up your mind. I’d give it another go.

A little indulgent aside:

To my mind, with his physique, for Arnold to make the leap into dramatics it should be something that makes use of his size to the extent that it doesn’t matter. Perhaps some back-water kid who grew up on farms and was always a labourer, good meaning but not sharp and who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Then there’s a twist like something he’s always known, been clever enough to keep a secret and then has to defend to save the day. Perhaps showing that he might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but he’s never actually been stupid. Well, that’s what I think.

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
O.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes, once.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Hug but at arms length. I don’t want to avoid completely but it’s like a toy from when you were a kid and didn’t realise it was rubbish – there’s a vague sort of connection but you should really just throw it out and forget it.

Posted in 2010s, Drama, Film Review, Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid, Snog, Twice, Watchability, Zombie | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

10 Cloverfield Lane

Year Released: 2016
Main Stars: John Goodman,  Mary Elizabeth Winstead,  John Gallagher Jr.
Review Date: July 2017
Last watched: February 2017
Number Watches: 1
Format Watched: Bluray

Didn’t expect what I got. After watching the movie Cloverfield, this is not so much a follow-up, more a… different film entirely.

Early on there was an odd game going on and some feckin’ weird people! John pushed me outside my comfort zone so that’s a plus point. Mary was as bewildered as I was and just as freaked out. Another point to the team.

Very claustrophobic for many reasons and there wasn’t any respite until nearly the end when another little twist appears.

Really not sure what to make of it. A bit horror, a small bit scifi, a big bit drama and also some thriller. There’s always going to be a part of me that remembers the strange set up and the questions raised, chief among them being “what would you do?”

Bluray Extras: Good extras with loads of info about the making of, intensions of the film and effects and interviews with cast (not that there are many cast!) and crew.

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Twice.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Snog although avoiding eye-contact incase there are too many awkward silences that end in some psychological terror-zone!!

Posted in 2010s, Drama, Film Review, Horror, Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid, SciFi, Snog, Thriller, Twice, Watchability | Tagged , | Leave a comment

12 Angry Men

Year Released: 1957
Main Stars: Henry Fonda,  Lee J. Cobb,  Martin BalsamJohn FiedlerE.G. MarshallJack KlugmanEdward BinnsJack WardenJoseph SweeneyEd BegleyGeorge VoskovecRobert Webber              
Review Date: July 2017
Last watched: February 2017
Number Watches: 1
Format Watched: DVD

Oh, boy. This is a classic for a very good reason. I saw a stage play of this and the table very slowly revolved. One of those “wasn’t that the other way around 10 minutes ago?” moments.

That seems to sum up the script and characters exceptionally well as the to-and-fro, camera work and emotional ebb all revolved around and around, like a spiralling water shoot until you eventually reach the end.

All the guys really bring their almost steroids-typical characters to life and the direction of the dialogue sees it all neatly spliced in and out.

There’s no fast-moving action but there’s also no time at which I wasn’t involved with the scenario. Even knowing what will happen didn’t stop me wondering who was going to say what next.

Good movie for drama, whodunit and film-making buffs alike.

DVD Extras: None. Real shame there. Guessing I got a cheap copy.

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Twice.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Marry

Posted in 1950s, Drama, Film Review, Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid, Snog, Twice, Watchability | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Midnight Special

Year Released: 2016
Main Stars: Michael ShannonJaeden Lieberher,  Joel Edgerton,  Kirsten Dunst                 
Review Date: July 2017
Last watched: February 2017
Number Watches: 1
Format Watched: DVD

Very curious. Credit for not giving it all away too early.

I can’t imagine the cash flowed easily for this script as on paper it probably looked like there’s nothing much happening, just a bit of a road trip with some promised effects. When I say that, I mean you have to stick with it to understand what’s happening and then try to work out what you thought of it! That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense either.

Look, it’s a bit weird but in a human way. Good acting from Kirsten who didn’t look like the Spiderman girl I always have in mind. (my bad, I know – mental type-casting) Also Jaeden rocks the oddity of his situation. He’s solid without being precocious. Everyone is believable although the main focus is the mystery of what’s happening.

Final reveal and special effects throughout are fresh and appropriate, i.e. not OTT, with the journey itself a good roller-coaster over hills of ‘what the heck?’ and bumps of emotions.

Nice oddity, well made, subtle perhaps even humble but very confident.

DVD Extras: Interviews. Good ones with some insight into the making. Also Jaeden is about as grown up as you can get without actually being grown up!

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Twice.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Snog.

Posted in 2010s, Drama, Film Review, Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid, SciFi, Snog, Twice, Watchability | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Contact

Year Released: 1997
Main Stars: Jodie Foster,  Matthew McConaughey,  Tom Skerritt,    James Woods, John Hurt                 
Review Date: July 2017
Last watched: July 2017
Number Watches: 2
Format Watched: TV

You’d think that 20 years after Star Wars they would have learned a few things about making a good scifi but appears not.

Plot is ok, I get it – simple, more thought than action. Most of the acting is just enough to get by although not particularly deep but then that might be because of the rubbish script that seems to deliver just one-dimensional people.

Oh and awful main character casting.

Jodie is trying, bless her. She puts on some big emotional scenes with lots of tears and upsetiness but as the main lead she’s a wimp and gets propped up by the men giving her hugs. Her character is supposed to be a strong female that gets blocked by male prejudice but really she’s a bit of a cry-baby that seems incapable without a man by her side. Needed a much stronger actor to pull that one off.

Script, direction, casting all just make the movie seem very vapid, predictable and not supportive of the main ideas.

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Once.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes, once.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Hug but at arms length. I don’t want to avoid completely but it’s like a toy from when you were a kid and didn’t realise it was rubbish – there’s a vague sort of connection but you should really just throw it out and forget it.

Posted in 1990s, Film Review, Hug, Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid, Once, SciFi, Watchability | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment