The Jungle Book (2016)

Year Released: 2016
Main Stars:  Neel Sethi, Bill Murray, Ben Kingsley, Idris Elba, Scarlett Johnassen
Last watched: January 2019
Number Watches: 1

“Many strange tales are told of this jungle, but none so strange as the tale of the cub we call Mowgli.”

“the bear necessities of life”

“I wanna be like you oo oo”

So I’m hoping that everyone remembers there was a Jungle Book done a long time ago that is a rocking great cartoon. This isn’t that one.

I tried so hard to forget the classic version but then the songs started and it just wasn’t the same. Why did they need the songs??

Neel is great. Really great. He brings the whole thing to life and you even forget that the entire film rests on his shoulders as he effortlessly talks to animations and interacts with green screen. Fantastic actor.

Bill and Ben are great companions and fit well with the animations – or perhaps they fit well with Bill and Ben. Scarlett and the other players are all ok although I didn’t think Idris was very powerful. Perhaps he’s not good being cooped up in a sound box. However the whole feeling was that no one stood out and that some scenes were there because they had to be, not because they added anything. King Louie was one of those and yes, I know it’s in the story but it all felt very contrived and that’s not something you want from a film.

The big question is why. Why was this done in the first place and why add the songs?

I guess kids will like the bright, silly images but I don’t think there’s many adults that will be bothered to see it again and that brings up the question of why bother in the first place.

 

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Once.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Hug for Neel.

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Posted in 2010s, Action, Animation, ASHM: HUG, Fantasy, Film Review, Musical, Review Month 02 February, Review Year 2019, Visual Format 2D, Visual Format TV, Watchability Once | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Greatest Showman

Year Released: 2017
Main Stars: Hugh Jackman, Michelle Williams, Zac Efron
Last watched: December 2018
Number Watches: 1

I tell you what, there’s a lot of singing but even more dancing.

Hugh and all the other cast members do their own singing and dancing so no one can accuse this ensemble of not living up to the script. Lots of different little scenes and enough of a story to keep kids amused or perhaps those that like musicals.

Not for me.

One reason for this is the constant modernisms like the dance moves and the samey feel about the songs. Very poppy and a bit bland. Again, maybe as a musical it was ok but for me I just watched it to wile away the hours over Christmas after winning the DVD in a raffle.

Well directed and with loads of costumes and locations, there’s nothing for me that was extraordinary but then again nothing that was bad either. The voices were all strong and one scene with Hugh and Zac was really well choreographed but over all I wouldn’t rush back too soon. Worth another try I suppose in case I just wasn’t in the mood but only if I happen to catch it on TV.

DVD Extras: Lots of sing-a-longs and cut up versions of the movie with a few making of types but too much of the same kind of thing for me. Not really the fault of the DVD, more about me not really being into this kind of thing. Also no gag-reel. Does no one do a gag-reel anymore?

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Twice.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Snog.

Posted in 2010s, Action, ASHM: Snog, Film Review, Musical, Review Month 02 February, Review Year 2019, Visual Format 2D, Visual Format DVD, Watchability Twice | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Tomb Raider (2018)

Year Released: 2018
Main Stars: Alicia Vikander, Dominic West, Walton Goggins
Last watched: December 2018
Number Watches: 1

If you know the series or play the games then this is Tomb Raider Lite. Not an awful movie by any means and one that should be taken for what it is, not what you think it should be going in.

Alicia does all the Tomb Raidery stuff; climbs sheer cliffs, swings through the forest, even has to get out of an airplane suspended by jungle creepers whilst it’s falling. You know, the everyday problems we all get at work.

The settings are nice and exotic and the bad guys are bad, maybe a little too bad. She’s more victim than in-control hero and some scenes are very stuck-on, very unreal however,  if there were no other Tomb Raiders out there, this would be a good film and even that stupid cliché of a ‘positive female role model’ – geez, I wish we were all equal and no one had to bother with emphasising these differences. Maybe one day.

Anyway, I’d see this one again and I think you should as well. It’s not a teenage boy’s wet dream and it’s not big boobs and sassy walking but it isn’t a bad piece of entertainment, just not a big big adventure.

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Once.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Snog.

Posted in 2018, Action, ASHM: Snog, Fantasy, Film Review, Game Conversion, Review Month 02 February, Review Year 2019, SciFi, Visual Format 2D, Visual Format TV, Watchability Twice | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Star Crash

Year Released: 1978
Main Stars: Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro, Christopher Plummer , The Hoff
Last watched: December 2018
Number Watches: 1

A wobbly VHS tape movie. There’s so much going on in this blind stumble of a plot that it’s hard to say what’s wrong with it.

No, sorry, it’s easy. The sets are cardboard, the acting limited, the script written on the wind and the overall production smells like wind.

However. The cardboard sets are obviously massive and must have cost a fair bit of money. The variety of locations and different plot-twists surely took ages to create and the actors, although given drivel to work with, at least give it their all when they need to convey the many states of cool that each scene demands. There’s hardly a minute goes by when something explodes and no one seems phased.

Of it’s time? Maybe that explains the slightly clad girls and wild hair cuts but there’s also more than a passing nod to just about every other film around at the time. Or maybe they knicked their ideas from this one?? Hmmm. I think not.

Anyway, aside from the bad bits, I can honestly say I’ll never watch this again. Not awful as such, just a lot of time spent on an epic quest that is ultimately better ignored. I kinda feel sorry for saying that, as if I’m having a go at someone’s friend’s much-loved old bike.

Nah, it’s crap.

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Never.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
No.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Avoid.

Posted in 1970s, Action, ASHM: Avoid, Fantasy, Film Review, Review Month 02 February, Review Year 2019, SciFi, Visual Format 2D, Visual Format TV, Watchability Don't | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Kung Fu Panda 3

Year Released: 2016
Main Stars:  Jack Black, Bryan Cranston, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie , J.K. Simmons, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu 
Last watched: January 2019
Number Watches: 1

Maybe it’s me. This isn’t as good as the others and is stretching the franchise too far, however as a single movie on it’s own… it’s ok. Funny parts and colourful characters but missing the wonderful excitement of finding new things. Relies heavily on the previous films to keep you interested.

Not bad for a Saturday night but not the best.

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Twice.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Snog.

Posted in Animation, ASHM: Snog, Comedy, Fantasy, Film Review, Review Month 02 February, Review Year 2019, Super Hero, Visual Format 2D, Visual Format TV, Watchability Twice | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Penguins Of Madagascar

Year Released: 2014
Main Stars:  Tom McGrath, Chris Miller, Christopher Knights, Conrad Vernon, John Malkovich, Benedict Cumberbatch
Last watched: December 2018
Number Watches: 1

Absolutely inspired penguins from start to end but with a not so inspired or funny counterpoint of the ‘good guys’. Feels like an extra from the DVD but still fun none the less.

Everyone can and should see this one and laugh heartily each time they do.

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Twice.
Keep DVD?
No.
Watch if on TV?
Yes.
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Snog.

Posted in Animation, ASHM: Snog, Comedy, Film Review, Review Month 02 February, Review Year 2019, Visual Format 2D, Visual Format TV, Watchability Twice | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ant-man

Year Released: 2015
Main Stars:  Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Evangelina Lilly, Corey Stoll, Michael Pena
Last watched: December 2018
Number Watches: 2

Paul Rudd. He’s so good at laid-back comedy and yet here he is being serious-ish. What a surprise and a fantastically sardonic addition to the Super-hero franchise.

Good movie. I didn’t want to see it as I really like the big super movies but when I was persuaded, I can see why it’s a keeper.

Obvs the effects are superbly blended and even the ants are semi-believable. The plot is neat but expected after the first 30 mins or so but the script and Michael-Evangelina-Paul interplays are what really make it. Michael Pena heads the side-kick extras and they are equally fresh in amongst all the heroics so there’s no much to dislike.

Someone was having fun when they wrote or directed and it shows on screen.

Don’t miss it – clearly candy-wrapper but also a big creator of smiles.

Watchability (once, twice, etc.)
Thrice+
Keep DVD?
Yes, maybe in an ANT-ology??
Watch if on TV?
Yes. ANT why not?
Hug, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Snog with hot thorax. (Is that a thing?)

Posted in 2010s, ASHM: HUG, Crime, Drama, Film Review, Review Month 02 February, Review Year 2019, Visual Format 2D, Visual Format TV, Watchability Once | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment